PINK HOUSE ARCHIVE
1. A Sleepy Sunday
(25th August 2001)
30 people. 15 flats. Countless stories. One house. Pink House.
          We begin our story on a sleepy Sunday morning, after a less sleepy Saturday night. We can tell it wasn't sleepy by the fact that there's a teenage girl, barely dressed, asleep on the doorstep. But then, to Mercedes Mayne, there's no such thing as a sleepy night. We'll find out more about her later on. The person we're looking for lives in the first flat on the ground floor. Her flat is pretty and well-kept, everything cosy and warm. On the sofa in the lounge, there is a small ginger kitten soundly sleeping. Or is it?
          At 6am on the dot, Biscuit the kitten wakes up, yawning and stretching. He jumps off the sofa and starts to run towards the bedroom, running faster and faster and, when he reaches the doorway, he launches into a huge jump, right onto the face of a sleeping young woman. Well, she's not sleeping any more.
          "Biscuit!" she murmurs to the cat, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "I'm not working today!" Biscuit meowed and ran towards the kitchen. The woman reluctantly followed him. He wants to be fed, she thought. As he wanted, she fed him. Then came the morning routine: have breakfast, take shower, get dressed, go outside to listen to the row.
          "What is it?" snapped Mercedes, as a young man, slightly older than her, woke her up.
          "You've been out again, haven't you?" he demanded. "You broke your promise! What kind of example are you setting young Darien by living your life like an irresponsible child?"
          "For the last time, Chester," she indignantly replied, "I don't have anything to do with you or that bloody kid any more! Unlike you, I have a life to live, and I'm sick of you getting on my back every bleedin' morning! Now get lost!"
          With that, she stormed into the block and up the stairs. Chester walked slowly behind her, trying not to show how upset he was. "Morning, Angel," he said to the woman.
          "Morning, Chester," she replied. "She done it again?"
          "Yup," he said. "Sometimes, I worry there'll be another poor kid with her for a mother. I even worry about her sometimes. Drink, drugs, sex every night. Doesn't she know it's bad for her? I can't believe she's so stupid."
          "Never mind her, she's a bitch," said Angel. "She's almost as bad as Bitcharse. You've got Darien and yourself to worry about without her involved."
          "First of all, no-one's as bad as Bitcharse," replied Chester, starting to show his anxiety. "And second of all..." He stopped, as a little boy aged about seven walked down the stairs, rubbing his eyes.
          "Dad," said the boy to Chester, "why are you always down here? And who's the bad lady who sleeps outside?"
          "It's not important, Darien," Chester stuttered. "Just go back to the flat, son, I'll be up in a bit."
          "Hi Darien!" Angel said sweetly, smiling at the boy.
          "Good morning Auntie Angel," Darien replied, smiling back, before returning to his home upstairs.
          "So what were you saying?" Angel asked Chester.
          "Erm...I can't actually remember," he said. "I'd better go sort Darien out. See ya later, take care." He followed Darien up the stairs.
          "See ya!" called Angel, waving up at him. She felt something fluttering in her chest. Bloody butterfly, she thought, slapping at her breast, only to realise nothing was there. When she had returned to her flat, she sat down on the sofa and Biscuit instantly jumped up on her lap. She started stroking him and thinking about things. Poor Chester, she thought, trying to bring up little Darien all on his own. If only Mercedes wasn't so lazy...lazy like...
          "Misti!" she shouted, scaring Biscuit so much that he ran and hid behind the TV. "Damn, I gotta get her up!"
          Angel ran to the flat opposite hers, knocking on the door. Misti, her best friend, was unbelievably lazy, and worked on a Sunday morning. There was no way she'd get herself up, so Angel had to go and get her up every week. She knocked on the door of Misti's flat.
          "Come in!" a voice called. Angel opened the door and walked in, to see a short, scrawny teenage girl sitting on the sofa, watching TV.
          "Morning Kristi," she said to the girl. "Where's Misti?"
          "Hey Angel!" said Kristi. "She's still in bed. You can go and get her up if you like." Angel smiled to herself. This was always the best part.
          She wandered into the bedroom, picking up a small black kitten on the way. Misti was lying in the bed, fast asleep. Slowly but surely, Angel dropped the kitten on her face and ran out of the room. When she was back in the living room, she heard a loud meow.
          Misti walked in, holding Mikki the kitten, to see Angel and Kristi laughing.
          "Who did this?" Misti demanded. "You scared the life outta me!"
          "Just had to get you up," said Angel, still sniggering.
          "Well you shoulda known that I'm feeling sick and taking a day off," replied Misti.
          "Can't-be-arsed disease again," Kristi muttered to Angel.
          "Oh...you..." Misti stammered. As she walked over to them, James, their other cat, got in the way and she tripped over him, forcing Mikki to run away, her nightie to fly up over her face and Angel and Kristi to fall about in hysterics.
          After a lot of uncontrollable laughter from them and loud cursing from Misti, Kristi decided it was a good time to leave. "I gotta go see Faith," she said. "Bye Angel, bye sis!" With that, she left the flat and Angel and Misti sat down.
          "Honestly, you do some funny things sometimes," said Angel. "You're a living cock-up!"
          "Well you're a living...erm..." Misti retaliated, looking around for something to say. "Erm...chest of drawers! You're a living chest of drawers."
          "Chester? What's he got to do with anything?" Angel said, blushing.
          "I dunno, you brought him up," said a puzzled Misti, trying to work out what Angel was on about. She worked it out and smirked. "I think someone's been bitten by the lurve-bug!"
          "What? What are you on?" Angel frantically said, her face now scarlet red. "I don't fancy Chester, I just love, I mean pity him! Poor Chester, poor Darien, poor...oh arse. I admit it! I'm mad about the guy, he rocks my world!"
          "Ah ha! Knew it!" Misti said in triumph, "you're not so perfect after all. Even Lil Miss stay-out-of-everything can fall in love with Mr. in-the-middle-of-everything."
          "Don't tell Sarah, will you?" whispered Angel. "She'll go crazy and start trying to fix us up and stuff, and you know how it is."
          "Don't worry babe, I got yo' back," Misti replied. "Besides, no matter how much you want him, it's best you stand well back, he's way out of your league."
          "Why?" asked Angel.
          "Well, being as he has one heck of a dysfunctional family," explained Misti, "he's probably got a just a little too much on his mind, don'tcha think?" Angel stayed silent, considering. Maybe he has. But maybe...just maybe...he needs me...ouch!
          Misti had slapped Angel on the back. "What'd ya do that for?" said Angel, angrily.
          "You were in your own little chest of drawers again!" Misti replied. "Chest of drawers, Chester's drawers. Geddit?" Misti burst out laughing.
          "Oh, ha ha," said Angel, sarcastically.
          "Hey Miss Perfect," said Misti, "you cocked up! Ha ha!"
***
In the flat next to Angel's, Sarah Cattell was making plans. Today, her old college room-mate Jess was coming to live with her. As her old lodger Kimberley had got married and left, she had a spare bedroom which she was setting up for Jess to sleep in. In their college days, Jess had always been a tidy, studious sort of girl, so Sarah assumed she'd be very much the same. She'll probably have come on business, Sarah thought to herself. She'll be making lots of money...Sarah had an idea. What if she was making enough money to buy them a house? She'd be out of Pink House forever! Yes!
          This is not the kind of idea most residents of Pink House would be having, but Sarah had some bad experiences with two of the block's most gorgeous men, namely Wes Williams and Damien Winky. They had both two-timed her, and then married the other woman in both cases. Wes had married the former landlady Bianca "The Beast" Bestley, and Damien had married her own lodger, Kimberley. She shuddered when she thought of them. But then, she had some good friends in Pink House, like Angel and Misti, and there were loads more men in the block. In fact, she thought, Adam Lawson would be just perfect for Jess! She just had to do what she did best: fix them up.
          Just then, the doorbell rang. "Door's open!" called Sarah. Angel and Misti walked in.
          "Hi!" they chorused.
          "Hey kids," said Sarah. "Wazzup?"
          "Oh, Misti tripped over the cat and showed off her knickers," said Angel, still laughing at the moment, although Sarah didn't seem to get it.
          "Well Angel's cocked up too!" Misti interrupted. "She wants to get inside Chester's drawers!" Sarah wolf-whistled, and Angel gave Misti a dig in the ribs. "Ouch!" said Misti. "What'd ya do that for?"
          "Well well well," said Sarah, pacing the room. "Taking a bit of a risk here, aren't we Angel? But then, when we're this much in love, we don't care about little obstacles such as seven-year-old sons and drugged-up ex-girlfriends, do we? My advice to you, my dear Angel: keep your distance. There's boys around with normal lives who are much better-looking."
          "Actually," said Angel, breathing a huge sigh of relief, "we didn't come here to talk about Chester, we just came to ask when Jess'll be here."
          "Ah, OK," replied Sarah. "She'll be here at about lunchtime-ish."
          "K," said Angel. "Is she coming to Lucinda's rave tonight?"
          "Is Adam going?" Sarah asked.
          "Erm...yeh, I think so," answered Misti.
          "Then I'll ask her," said Sarah.
          "Why are you asking about Adam?" asked Misti, a little concerned.
          "Why aren't you at work?" Sarah asked back.
          "Long story," said Angel.
          "Same here," said Sarah, "now move along while I finish up here."
          "OK, see ya later," said Misti. They left and went next door to Angel's flat. Greeted by Biscuit's meows, they fed him and then sat and talked.
          "What was she going on about?" asked Angel.
          "She likes Adam!" said Misti. "She's a fall in love again, and we know how lucky her love-life is!"
          "What, how lucky is it?" said Angel in confusion.
          "You dumbarse!" Misti raged. "Haven't you been watching what happened to Sarah? Or have you been too busy thinking about Chester's drawers to bother?" Angel was taken aback, but Misti carried on. "Don't you remember what happened with Wes? And with Damien? Come on, are you a bloody corpse or what?"
          "Calm down, no need to get mad," Angel replied, moving away from Misti. "Of course I remember all that, but those men are just bastards! Who says this time's a be the same?"
          "I say, that's who!" hissed Misti. "It's her problem, ya know, she comes on too strong and scares them off."
          "I don't think any girl would scare Wes or Damien," stated Angel. Misti nodded her head in agreement.
          "Maybe so," said Misti, "but still, we gotta protect her. We don't want her getting hurt again, so we gotta do what we can to keep her away from Adam. OK?"
          Angel hesitated, but then agreed. Not because she thought it was right, but because she was intimidated by Misti.
***
Later on that day, Chester knocked on Mercedes' door.
          "What is it?" she said as she stood in the doorway, not letting him in.
          "Lucinda invited me to the rave tonight," said Chester.
          "Yeh, everyone's going, now get lost!" Mercedes irately replied, slamming the door in Chester's face. He knocked again.
          "What now?" said Mercedes, sounding bored and evidently busy.
          "Well, I hardly came just to tell you I'm going," said Chester. "I came to ask you if you can look after Darien tonight so I can go."
          Mercedes laughed an evil laugh. "You tell me I'm irresponsible, and now you're asking me to babysit so you can have a dirty night out!" she cackled. "Well let me tell you that there's no way I'ma waste my night with the bloody kid while you're out having fun."
          "Well do you know anyone who will?" Chester asked.
          "Just leave her with what's-her-name downstairs, the one who already has the kid," suggested Mercedes. "She won't be going, so there's your way out."
          "Faith?" said Chester. "But she's only 16! Isn't one kid enough for her?"
          "Well, you could always leave her with Bitcharse, but..." Mercedes began.
          "I'll go see her now!" Chester interrupted, walking over to Faith's flat. Mercedes closed her door and carried on getting ready for the rave. Once Chester had gone into the flat, a head poked round the door of a flat nearby. The young girl laughed to herself, then went down the stairs and knocked on one of the doors.
          "Hold on, hold on!" came a voice, female with a strong Liverpudlian accent. A chubby menopausal woman, with a phone in her hand and a towel round her hair, answered the door. Her face fell when she saw the girl.
          "Hello Mrs Smith," said the girl in a sickly-sweet voice. "Does Chloe wanna come over to my flat?"
          "Hang on, Laura," replied Mrs Smith. She walked back into the flat and then returned with a girl slightly younger than Laura.
          "Hiya," said the other girl.
          "Now be back in an hour, Chloe, or yeh'll miss yer dinner," Mrs Smith told Chloe.
          "See ya later mum," said Chloe. She and Laura retreated up the stairs.
          When they reached Laura's flat, they walked in and Laura slammed the door behind them. She cornered Chloe, who was frightened, in case Laura's mum came in.
          "W..w...where's your m...mum?" stuttered Chloe.
          "Out," replied Laura. "Now, I got a proposition for ya."
          "What is it?" asked Chloe, relieved that Laura's mum wasn't in.
          "There's a rave tonight," Laura explained, "and we're a go."
          "What? Why?" said Chloe, now less relieved, wondering why Laura wanted to.
          "We never have any fun," said Laura, "and this party is our one chance. Now, go back to your flat, and come staright back after dinner. We can sort out our make-up and stuff." Chloe wandered back downstairs to her flat, worried about what would happen next.
***
That night, when Lucinda opened the door to the club, almost everyone was outside, dying to get in. Leanne, Faith's big sister who was mad about clubbing, was the first to go in, followed by Angel, Misti, Sarah and Jess, who had come with her. Soon everyone was in, and the last to enter were Chester and Mercedes, arguing as usual. The only people missing who were coming were Laura and Chloe, who hadn't finished getting ready, and Angel's twin brother Fred, who had fallen asleep.
          In the club, Damien Winky was flirting with every girl he hadn't dated and making fun of every girl he had. Bridget Smith, Chloe's big sister, who was feeling too down to dance, was his first victim.
          "Hey Bridge, why the long face? Missing me?" Damien said to her, laughing. "A little down and out? Scared of reaching the big three-oh? When's yer birthday anyway?"
          "Next month," sulked Bridget.
          "Not long to go then, eh?" said Damien. "Aww, what a shame. I'm still 25, ya know. Still in me prime, still gettin' all the girls. By the way, have you met Kimberley? Come 'ere, love." Kimberley walked over to him and he put his arm around her. "Ain't she sweet?" They walked away from her, looking for someone else to upset. Bridget was even more depressed now. Why oh why did he have to do this all the time?
          Sarah was introducing Jess to everyone when she saw Adam. He was on his own too. This was the perfect time to get them together!
          "Hey Jess, I think I've found the perfect guy for you," she told her.
          "Oh yeh? Who?" asked Jess.
          "Ah, you'll love him," said Sarah. "He's sweet, loving and dead sexy. He's right over..." She stopped. Wes was walking over to her. She better hide.
          "Hi, are you the...erm, new girl?" Wes said to Jess. "I'm William Wesleys...uh, Wesley Williams. I...I live in erm...Pink House."
          "I live in Pink House too," Jess replied, smiling. "I live with Sarah, you know Sarah."
          "Yeh, I know Sarah," said Wes, hesitating. "You know, if you ever need anything, help, stuff, sex...did I say sex? Oh damn, I gotta go...there." He blushed and began to walk away.
          "Wait!" called Jess. Wes looked back at her. "You...you know where I live, right? Flat number three, on the ground floor."
          "W...wow! I'm in flat number four!" said Wes, walking back to Jess. "Just come in if you need anything, I hope we can be friends and...arg!" He'd walked right into the wall and fallen over backwards.
          "Wes, are you OK?" said Jess, running over to him, while a lot of people had burst out laughing. She kneeled down by him. "You'll be alright. Have you hit anything?"
          "I think I hurt my doodah," said Wes, sounding confused.
          "Weslaaaaaaay!" called someone. A woman walked over to them. "Whatcha done now?"
          "He musta hit his head," Jess said.
          "Oh look! Barbie!" said Wes, pointing at the woman and laughing.
          "Yup, definitely," 'Barbie' said, obviously very cheesed off. "Come on, you," she said to Wes, grabbing his feet and pulling him out of the door. "Wait till I get you home!"
          "Wow, that Beast is a right cow sometimes," said Misti, walking over to Jess.
          "Who was that?" asked Jess.
          "Bianca, the Beast," replied Misti. "She used to be our landlady. No-one likes her."
          "Ah, OK," said Jess. "Cheers." The Beast, eh? She thought to herself. Wes can't like her. I bet he likes me so much better. I want him.
          As Bianca walked out, Chloe and Laura were hiding in the bushes.
          "Something's happened," said Laura. "No-one'll notice if we go in now. Come on!" But Fred was coming up the path at the same time, and as they jumped out of the bushes, they jumped right in front of him.
          "What? Who are you?" said a bemused Fred. "I know! You're those kids! What the heck are you guys doing here?"
          "We're...erm..." stuttered Chloe.
          "Going to the party!" Laura cut in. "Ya see, we kids don't ever have any fun, so my mum thought it'd be OK if we came out here."
          "But you're just kids!" said Fred. "Lucinda'll kill me if she finds out I've let you in!"
          "But if you don't let us in, I'll tell my mum you did all the graffiti in the toilets," Laura retaliated. "Now would you rather get a little lippin' from Lucinda, and she'll probably never even know it was you anyway, or have my mother kick you out of Pink House?"
          Fred scratched his head. "I see your point," said Fred.
          "And I see yours when you look at Misti," said Chloe. "Want her to know you like her?"
          "No, no! Come on in, please!" said Fred. "Now what should I call you?"
          "Call me Larissa," said Laura, "and her...Clarissa. It'll do for now."
          "You're two teenagers who are way too small for your age," said Fred. "OK?"
          "Fine," said Laura. "Now let's go."
          Fred led the girls into the club. "They're with me," he said to Lucinda as he walked past her. He left them by the chairs and went to talk to his friends.
          "Chloe!" said Laura, quietly so no-one could hear her. "That Misti thing was genius! How'd you think of it?"
          "I dunno, I just did," replied Chloe. "Now let's party!" The girls went to dance.
          Meanwhile, Damien was chatting Lucinda up. "Hey birthday girl," he said. "Got any kisses yet?"
          "Well now that you mention it..." Lucinda began.
          "Pith! Forget those guys. Now you're 18, you need a real man," said Damien. "Now come over here, I'll show you what it's all about." He walked over to Bridget, Lucinda following. "Hey Bridge, look what I got!" Damien said to her. "Betcha haven't got a dance all night, old girl, but you're a bit too mature for that stuff now, ain'tcha? At your age, you should be at home and...ouch!"
          Lucinda had slapped him round the face. "Serves you right, you little bastard," she shouted. "Get a God-damned life!"
          The room was silent for a few seconds, but the silence was broken by another slap. This time, Mercedes had slapped Chester. "What'd ya do that for?" he said, holding his face.
          "Cuz you're a little bastard," snubbed Mercedes. She walked away with her nose in the air...right into Laura and Chloe. They fell right off their high heels. Mercedes stared.
          "What? We're just teenagers, small for our age," said Laura. The girls scrambled to their feet and walked away, but David, Chloe's older brother, stopped them.
          "Stop!" he called. "Chloe, is that you?"
          "No, her name's Clarissa," said Laura, "and I'm Larissa and I've never met you. Ciao!" They carried on walking, but David grabbed their hands.
          "You are Chloe!" he accused. "And you're Bitcharse...I mean Mrs Pitchards' daughter!"
          "What imbecile let these kids in?" shouted Lucinda, still angry. Fred scarpered.
          "Fred, wait!" Angel called after him. She followed him out the door, and so did Misti, Sarah, Jess, Leanne and some of Fred's friends. Eventually, everyone but Lucinda, David, Bridget and Chester had left.
          "Well done David," said Lucinda, smiling. "You're the best."
          "Thanks, you too," said David. "Now come on, let's get outta here."
          "Sure, you wanna come round mine?" suggested Lucinda. "No-one's in, it'll be just you and me tonight." They walked out of the door, hand in hand.
          Bridget walked over to Chester. "Are you OK?" she asked him. "Did it hurt?"
          "A little," he replied. "She's got a strong arm on her."
          "Bitch," said Bridget. "So, just us now."
          "Yeh," replied Chester. "Hey, since it's only us, you wanna..."
          Let's leave it there. That's just a sleepy Sunday in the life of Pink House. If that's just one day, what's next? We'll find out soon.
2. Friends, Lovers And Bitches
(1st September 2001)
"See ya round Dawn!" called Lindy Parker from the top of the stairs. Mrs Smith waved up at her, then walked back to her flat. Lindy took her door-key out of her pocket and opened the door with it. "Hello? Lucinda?" she called. "Mother's home! Where are you?" She opened her daughter's bedroom door and looked to see if Lucinda was in her bed. She was...
          "Arg! Mum!" screamed Lucinda. "What are you doing here?"
          "Saving your life by the looks of it," said Lindy. "Who is that?"
          "It's...erm..." stuttered Lucinda.
          "I think I better be leaving now," said David from under the blanket. "Gimme a minute, please Mrs Parker?"
          "OK," said Lindy. "I've heard that voice before...who is he?" She walked out the door.
          David got out of the bed. "I should get dressed," he said.
          "K, you do that," said Lucinda. "You don't mind me being here, do ya?"
          "Nah, I don't care," said David, "you saw all of me last night." David started to get dressed, and so did Lucinda.
          "So," said Lucinda, "how was it for you?"
          "Oh, great," replied David. "What'd you think?"
          "Well, you're definitely well-equipped," said Lucinda, "and you know your way around. Have you done this before?"
          "Yeh, a bit," said David.
          "Anyone I know?" Lucinda asked. "Sorry, I'm just nosy."
          "Erm...yeh, you are nosy," David answered. He quickly put his clothes on. "I better go. See ya round." He kissed her on the cheek and left. Lucinda sat down and thought. He must be hiding something. But what?
***
Meanwhile, in Fred's flat, he woke up when he saw his two flatmates, James and Billy, staring at him. "What?" he said, sleepily. His friends sniggered.
          "Look to your left," said Billy. Fred looked and...
          "Arg! Sarah!" he screamed. "What are you doing here?"
          "That's what I'd like to know," said Sarah.
          "And that's not all," said James. "Look to your right." Fred looked again and...
          "Omigod. Is that...is that...Misti?" said Fred, swooning.
          "Yeh it's me," said Misti, "and I dunno why the hell I'm here. Come on Sarah, let's go."
          When they got up, they both screamed. "Arg, where are my clothes?" said Sarah. The guys turned and looked, and their eyebrows raised. James wolf-whistled at them.
          "Stop staring!" shouted Misti. The girls grabbed their clothes and ran to the bathroom.
          "Nice T&A!" Billy called after them.
          "What's T&A?" asked Fred.
          "Tits and ass," replied Billy, "didn't you know that? You're gay."
          "Somehow, I don't think so," said James. "He did just wake up next to two women..."
          "Oh yeh, man!" said Billy. "Well done!"
          Just then, there was a tiny knock on the door. A small child opened the door. "Have you seen daddy?" he asked.
          "No, sorry Darien, we haven't," replied Fred. Darien walked out of the door.
          "Hey, where is Chester?" asked James.
***
Funny you should ask. Over on the other side of town, the club that had last night been filled with bright lights, loud music and dancing people was now nothing but a dark, empty building with no-one inside. But despite that, up on top of the building...
          "What happened?" Bridget asked Chester, yawning and stretching.
          "I dunno," he replied. "I musta drunk too much."
          "I think I did too," said Bridget.
          "So what do we do now?" asked Chester.
          "Well we can start by swapping clothes," giggled Bridget.
          Chester looked himself over and realised he was wearing the very dress that Bridget had worn last night. "Erm...yeh, we better," said Chester, blushing.
          "Hey, don't be embarrassed," Bridget reassured him, "you've seen me without clothes, and I've seen you too. And I must say, you are sweet!"
          "You ain't so bad yourself, Bridgey," said Chester. "Now come on, let's switch back." They went downstairs into the toilets to change, and somewhere in the middle...we'll leave this one to your imagination.
***
Back in Pink House, Sarah had returned to her flat and was now getting ready for work. Jess was sitting on the bed talking to her (Sarah decided not to talk much about the night before, she just said she'd stayed with Misti - which was kinda true).
          "So you're not working then?" asked Sarah.
          "Nope," replied Jess. "I just got outta college, I stayed on another couple years. I'll go out and look for something today."
          "Ah, that's OK then," said Sarah. "As long as you're not planning to live off me..."
          "No, no way," said Jess. "I'll be living off myself."
          "Well I gotta go," Sarah said. "See ya later."
          "Bye!" Jess called to her as she left. Jess waited a minute and then checked that the coast was clear. No Sarah, no Misti, no Bianca...no-one who could pick on her. She did a quick mirror check, then crept out into the hallway. She tried to remember what she heard last night. Flat four, was it? Yup, definitely. She wandered over, but when she was halfway there, she saw the door of his flat opening. She hid under the stairs.
          There he was. Wes Williams, in all his glory...and where was he going? He was going to Jess's flat! Just when she wanted to see him, he wanted to see her...
          She's not there, thought Wes. Dammit! She would be out when I want her. But in that case, she'd be out all the time...man, I'm in love! But Bianca...oh arse. He then spotted Jess under the stairs. "Hey, Jess!" he called to her.
          "Wes! I was just going to see you, I wondered where you'd gone!" Jess called back, getting out from under the stairs.
          "I wanted to see you too," said Wes. "Wanna come back to mine?"
          "Hmm...OK," replied Jess. They walked together over to his flat.
          "Well, here it is," said Wes, as they got in. "This is it."
          "It's...nice," said Jess, looking around. "I like the...personal touch."
          "It's a mess, isn't it?" said Wes, frantically. "I shoulda cleaned up, shouldn't I?"
          "No, no!" said Jess, trying to calm him down. "It's fine. Really. I was being stuck-up, I'm like that sometimes. Damn, I'm too stuck-up aren't I? I bet you hate me now."
          "Course not!" said Wes, sitting down on the sofa. "In fact, quite the contrary...no, I shouldn't say it."
          "Say what?" asked Jess, smiling sweetly and sitting down next to him. "Tell me."
          "I...I..." Wes stuttered.
          "You...you..." said Jess.
          "I love...I love...I kinda like...I think...I'm deeply...crap, I can't...bollocks...I love you!" Wes eventually said. He became light-headed and lost track of what he was doing, so he just grabbed Jess and kissed her.
          Wes wasn't the only one who got lost in the moment. Jess felt like she was floating on air. This was the best kiss she'd ever had, and she didn't even see it coming. She checked her watch. Three minutes and still going strong! I'm the luckiest girl in the world, she thought. Or maybe not...
          "Hi Wes! I forgot my...oh my God." Bianca had returned, and Wes hadn't even noticed. She had to go up behind him and slap him before he realised she was there, and when he did, he freaked out.
          "Bianca! It's...it's not what you think!" he said, dropping Jess on the floor and falling to Bianca's feet.
          "Oh yeh, that's original," fumed Bianca. "Next you're a tell me she passed out and you had to give her mouth-to-mouth, or are you rehearsing for some bloody play?"
          "I'd better go, this could get ugly," said Jess.
          "It already did, when you came in," hissed Bianca. Jess glared evilly and left the flat. She stood outside the door and listened. She heard Bianca chucking abuse and Wes's pathetic whimpers. They went on for ages, and Jess knew she should go home, but she was glued to the spot. She wanted to see what happened to Wes. After all the shouting and screaming, the door flew open and Wes flew out.
          "Hey, what about my stuff?" he said. A second later, a suitcase came out of the door and almost landed on his head.
          "There you go, you bastard!" shouted Bianca. "And I won't be needing this!" She threw her wedding ring out and Wes caught it. Bianca slammed the door.
          "Oh my God, are you OK?" said a concerned Jess. "Did you hurt your..."
          "A bit, but I'm more emotionally hurt," cried Wes. "I knew it was coming, but I didn't think it would end like this. My first marriage, which I thought would be forever, right down the toilet."
          "I'm so sorry I flushed it," said Jess. "I had no idea you were married, if I'd known I woulda kept away."
          "Nah, it's not your fault," said Wes, getting up, "it's mine. When I meet a girl I like, a girl like you, I forget everything. All thoughts of Bianca and the marriage and everything else just disappear. From the moment I saw you, you were all I could think about."
          "Wow," said Jess. "I was the same. That first sight, the first words you said to me, the way you walked into that wall..."
          "Yeh, that was kinda funny wasn't it?" said Wes, starting to laugh through the tears.
          "Course it was!" said Jess, also beginning to laugh. "You see, any other guy would be really embarrassed and never talk to me again, but you're different. You know how to laugh at yourself. I love that in a guy."
          "That's great," said Wes, "just great."
          All of a sudden, the Pink House doors slammed open and in came Bridget and Chester.
          "I better go home now," said Chester, "I got a kid to sort out."
          "Yeh, I guess so," said Bridget. "Last night and this morning were fun though."
          "Best morning of my life, baby," said Chester. "See ya!" He went up the stairs.
          "Bye!" Bridget called after him. "I'll come round tonight!"
          "So," Jess said to Bridget, "nice day, eh?"
          "Very nice," answered Bridget. "Man, I'm in love."
          "Chester?" said Jess, concerned. "But isn't he..."
          "He broke up with Mercedes a long time ago," said Bridget. "And a little fun and love in his life is what he needs after all that."
          "Yeh," said Wes, "you down-and-outs'll be perfect for each other."
          "We're not down-and-outs!" argued Bridget. "I think you and the Beast are more like down-and-outs, you're so wrong for each other!"
          "I know," said Wes, starting to sound depressed again.
          "You know?" said Bridget, confused. "What do you mean, you know? I thought you two were happy together!" Wes just fell to the floor, crying.
          "She just chucked him out," Jess told Bridget.
          "Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" apologised Bridget. "I had no idea!"
          "Now I have nowhere to live and my bits hurt and I walk into walls!" cried Wes.
          "Aww, you poor thing!" said Jess, picking Wes up and hugging him. "Don't worry. You can come and live with me and everything'll be OK."
          "Are you sure you've got room?" asked Wes.
          "Well, I have a sofa," suggested Jess.
          "Yeh, OK," said Wes, hesitant. "Sofa it is."
          "Oh, are you sure you'll be comfortable enough?" said Jess. "Cuz I have a double bed if...no, you won't want to do that."
          "Damn right I will!" said Wes. "I mean...sure, OK."
          "Great, I'd like that," said Jess. "I'd like that a lot. Come on, let's move you in!" They walked into Jess's flat, and at the same time, Misti walked out of her flat.
          "Hey Bridge!" she said. "Whatcha doing out here?"
          "I'm just so happy I forgot to go home," said Bridget in her spaciest voice. "I'm in love! You know how it is."
          "Like hell I do," said Misti. "So who is it? Spill!"
          "I...I don't th-think I should t-tell you," stammered Bridget, blushing.
          "Ah go on, I won't tell anyone," said Misti.
          "But still, I..." said Bridget.
          "Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on!" demanded Misti.
          "Oh OK," said Bridget. "It's...it's Chester Kitten." Misti didn't say anything. How could she tell Bridget that she wasn't the only one who wanted in Chester's drawers? Should she tell Angel? She had no idea.
***
Sarah was on her way home from work when she saw James at a nearby café.
          "Hey Sarah!" he beckoned her. "Over here!"
          She walked over to him. "Hey James, what's up?" she said.
          "Not much," James replied. "Just...waiting for someone."
          "Who?" asked Sarah.
          "Oh, just...someone," said James.
          "That someone being..." said Sarah.
          "Kristi," said James, "Kristi Morgan."
          "Kristi Morgan? Why her?" Sarah asked.
          "I just need to talk to her about something," said James, "something important. Something I wouldn't trust most people with."
          "Well how come you trust her, of all people?" Sarah continued. "She's just 16, she's just a child! If it's that important...sorry, I'm intruding aren't I?"
          "With all due respect, ma'am," said James, "yes, you are."
          "Sorry," said Sarah. "Well, I better be getting home then. Bye!" She ran away as quickly as she could. She couldn't get out of there fast enough. She couldn't get him out of her mind. Kristi Morgan? Misti's sister? Why her? What was going on between them?
          When she got home, there were more surprises in store. Sitting on her sofa, in her lounge, were Jess and Wes. Her friend and the traitor. Looking like...like...like they were in love.
          "What the heck is going on here?" Sarah shouted. Wes and Jess turned round.
          "Sarah! Hi!" said Jess. "Wes is staying the night, is that OK?"
          "Doesn't he have a Beast to go home to?" said Sarah, her head filling with anger.
          "She dumped him," said Jess, her voice going soft.
          "Good for her!" said Sarah. "She now sees what a bastard she was married to!"
          "Sarah, what is up with you?" said Jess. "Melt the stone, man!"
          "Melt the stone? Melt the stone?" raged Sarah. "You're telling me to melt the stone when you're letting my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me for some tarty bitch named Bianca the Beast, stay in my flat!"
          "Well sor-ry Sarah," said Jess, starting to get mad too, "but this isn't just your flat you know, it's mine too! And besides, the poor guy has nowhere else to go. Do you think I'm just a leave the one I love out in the cold?"
          "The one you love? Per-lease!" said Sarah. "You only met the guy yesterday! And I've known him a long time, I know what he's like! He'll love you and leave you! And as for you, you're nothing like my old college mate! You've grown up to be a bitch who puts men before friends! But then, I'm not your friend, am I?"
          "Sarah..." said Jess.
          "Don't you Sarah me!" screamed Sarah. "Wes ain't the only one with nowhere to go now! You're out!"
          "I'm out? What do you mean?" said Jess.
          "Oh, do I have to spell it out for you?" said Sarah. "You've moved in, moved out, hands up, hands down, back up and tell me whatcha gonna do now? Keep rollin' rollin' outta my house, Bizkit freak!"
          "Oh, I'm happy to go!" said Jess. "Living with a trendie is like living in hell!"
          "Hey, don't I get a say in this?" said Wes.
          "No!" Sarah and Jess shouted at the same time.
          "OK, OK," said Wes, backing down.
          "Wes, you're coming with me, we're a find somewhere to live," said Jess. "I've made loads of friends in, like, one day, and I'm sure you know everyone. Anywhere's better than here!" Jess grabbed Wes's hand and pulled him away, slamming the door behind them.
          "Goooooood riddance!" Sarah called after them, even though they'd already gone.
          Then, the door opened and Wes came back in. "Forgot my hat," he said, grabbing his hat and then going out again. Sarah just shrugged.
          "Ah, bliss," said Jess, when Wes was outside again. "When I was in with Sarah, I forgot how good life was without her."
          "You only lived for her for one day!" said Wes. "Besides, where are we a go now?"
          "We have plenty of friends!" suggested Jess. "I mean, there's Bridget, she'd be really happy to have company. And Misti, we get on pretty well. And then there's James and Fred and Chester and Leanne and Faith and Lucinda and Adam and Michael and David and Angel..."
          "OK, OK, you've made your point!" Wes interrupted. "It's a bit unorthodox, but we're desperate." He sighed. He could tell that the fight was getting to Jess.
          They started knocking on doors. They went to Bridget first...but they walked in on her with Chester...oops. Next was Misti...
          Jess knocked on the door. "Hello? Misti?" she called. Misti didn't answer, but the door was open. They sneaked in and heard Kristi talking.
          "So who is it you fancy?" she said.
          Then came James's voice, really quiet, and it sounded like he said "Jess".
          "I think we should go now," Wes whispered to Jess. "We'll call round later." He tiptoed out of the door.
          "No we won't, this is interesting!" said Jess. But she said it too loud...
          "J-J-Jess!" said Kristi. "What a n-nice s-s-surprise! Y-You didn't hear that d-did you? N-Not that it's anything s-s-secret, it's j-just..." She trailed off.
          "Sorry, just looking for Misti," said Jess. "Is she in?"
          "Nope, she's round Angel's I think," replied Kristi. "See ya round!" She pushed Jess out of the door.
          "James fancies me!" Jess told Wes when they got outside.
          "Well he can arse off then," said Wes, "or I'll smack 'im one. So where's Misti?"
          "Round Angel's, Kristi thinks," said Jess. "We can see em both at the same time."
          They went to see Angel. They knocked on the door and she answered. "Hey Jess, Wes!" she said. "What's up?"
          "We have nowhere to live," said Jess, "and we wondered if you or Misti would put us up for a while."
          "Misti? Why'd you come round here to ask Misti?" asked Angel.
          "Kristi said she was round here," replied Jess. "Anyways, screw her. Will you help us out? Please?"
          "I thought you lived with Sarah," said Angel, "and Wes with Bianca."
          "We've been dumped," said Jess. "So pleeeeeeeeease will you help us?"
          "OK," said Angel, "but only until you find your own place. I don't know if I have room for two beds though..."
          "Oh, one'll be just fine," said Wes, "eh, Jess?"
          "Yeh," said Jess, putting her head on Wes's shoulder.
          "Aww," said Angel, "how could I refuse something so sweet?"
          "Thanks so much," said Wes. "I owe you big time!"
          "It's OK Wes," said Angel. "I'm an angel aren't I?"
          "A real angel for this!" said Jess. "I'm in your debt forever!"
          "But could you just do one thing for me?" asked Angel.
          "What's that?" said Jess.
          "Find Misti," replied Angel.
***
Misti was in Adam's flat, with Adam's flatmate Michael MacMillan.
          "So where's Adam?" she asked.
          "He's out with Leanne," said Michael.
          "Leanne?" said Misti.
          "Yeh, Leanne," said Michael. "He goes clubbing with her. They're really good friends, them two."
          "Friends?" said Misti. "Nothing more?"
          "Don't think so," explained Michael. "They've been mates since they were kids. There's never been anything more between them!"
          "Good," said Misti, "cuz I came over here to ask him out."
          "Did you?" said Michael. "Really?"
          "Yeh," said Misti. "Could you tell him I called round?"
          "OK," said Michael, "what flat are you in? I'll tell him to look you up."
          "Second flat downstairs," replied Misti. "0-2, OK?"
          "Fine," said Michael, "I'll tell him."
          "See ya later," said Misti. "Bye!"
          "Bye," said Michael. Misti left the flat. "That girl is sweet."
***
The days went on and so did everything else. Jess and Wes still lived with Angel, and Sarah and Bianca were still alone. Jess still thought James was in love with her, Sarah still thought he was in love with Kristi and only James and Kristi seemed to know the truth. Bridget and Chester were still at it all day and all night (do they ever get tired?), Adam and Leanne still went clubbing every night (and so did Mercedes, but she kinda got hammered every night too), Damien was still a little bastard and Misti was wondering why Adam hadn't talked to her yet.
3. Blue Lagoon
(8th September 2001)
"More tea?" said Misti to Angel. They were sitting in Misti's flat having a cup of tea.
          "Yeh, sure," said Angel. "Anything to get my mind off Wes and Jess."
          "Honestly, you're going mad," said Misti. "You can't even keep your teacup still!"
          "Neither can you," said Angel, "and you can't keep your table still either."
          "That's not me," said Misti. "I think it's an earthquake..."
          "It's coming from above," said Angel.
          "Let's go up and check it out," suggested Misti. They went upstairs and saw that it was the room above theirs that was shaking. They heard loud heavy breathing noises.
          "That's Bridget's room!" said Angel. "What could she be doing in there?"
          "I don't know," said Misti, "but I'ma find out!" She knocked on the door. It took a few minutes, but Bridget finally answered.
          "What do you want?" she said, sounding out of breath.
          "I just wondered what was going on," said Misti. "Our ceiling was shaking..."
          "Who is it baby?" someone called from the bedroom.
          "It's Misti and Angel, darling!" Bridget shouted back. "They just wanna know what we were doing!"
          "Well tell em it was something I can't remember the name of!" the other person said. "Some weird thingimajig from the Kama Sutra!"
          "Chester!" said Bridget.
          "Chester?" said Misti.
          "Chester..." said Angel.
          "Chester," said Chester, walking out of the bedroom wearing a blanket. "Yup, that's me. Hey girls."
          Angel ran off down the stairs. "Angel, wait!" Misti called after her. She then ran after her, almost knocking Kristi and James over. The two of them walked past Chester, sniggering.
          "What are you looking at?" said Chester. Kristi and James ignored him and went into Faith's flat. A minute later, they came out with Faith, Kismet (Faith's kid) and, to Bridget's surprise, Darien.
          "Darien!" said Bridget. "Where've you been?"
          "Kismet's house," said Darien. "Been there every day."
          "So Chester," said Bridget, turning to Chester, "all this time we've been doing it all the freakin' time, you've left your son with a 16-year-old girl who already has a little three-year-old kid to take care of."
          "I know, I know," said Chester, "but I just can'